Tuesday, March 3, 2015

The Straw that broke the Camel's back

Last night we came home from an amazing dinner at my parent's house to discover two things.  One, that my allergies are really another lovely cold.  And two, that our youngest fur-baby, Bella, has apparently had some sort of stroke.

I lost it.  The stress of the last 4 months washed over me..and has continued to do so since 11pm last night.  Which brings me to...

I have been hiding something from you all.  We have been hiding something from you all.


In November of last year, Patrick lost his job.  It was perfect timing, being I was newly pregnant and the holiday's were fast approaching.  (Said in my best sarcastic voice) Since I stay home and only coach 'part-time' can I just be real and say there is no word in the English language that explains my worry, my anxiety, and my fear?  We assumed, wrongly, that he would have no trouble finding an new job after the Christmas season.  He has a decade of great HR experience, and although he has applied for every job up here possible, nothing.

Fast forward 4 months.

I have been diving into coaching more and more because it provides me with a distraction and with a team of people that keep a spark in my day.  As a negative person I have tried REALLY hard to focus on the positives.  At least I woke up this morning. I have an amazing son. We have an awesome so on the way.  We are around the BEST family. The best part about coaching has been that I have financially been able to support us...and I shudder about where we would be if I hadn't taken the risk to do something different a year ago.  However, my income does not cover all the bills.  We relied on his full-time job for health benefits and for income.  After scaling back our Dave Ramsey budget to bare-bones, we are still short at the end of the month.  The emergency fund, gone, and then...last night.  That dang straw.

Going to the vet this morning, right after I humble myself and ask for a payment plan.  Or whether little Bella is in pain and if treatment can wait.  Wait...wait for a job, for some income, to heal...I don't know.  Groceries or vet bill this morning?

We have prayed this prayer daily for a while now. And to be honest, I am feeling mostly like it hasn't mattered.  The tissues next to my computer are a mix from my illness and my tears.

Lord, you are good.
I need help.
They need help.
Thank you.
In Jesus name, Amen

Prayers for Patrick to find a job.
Prayers for Bella to heal.
Prayers to find comfort in what is GOOD right now.
Prayers that my coaching continues to grow and support us.
Prayers that my cold goes away....



3 comments :

  1. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God is good to those who love him. Ask for wisdom and guidance, and He will deliver. He is a just-in-time God. He is never too early or too late. Praying for you now...

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  2. Nicole, we've been through many hard times, including the pain and stress of unemployment. There is no description of that type of despair. In my old age, I've learned: ASK FOR HELP! Your Brothers and sisters in Christ want to ease your struggle and bring you comfort! We are God's tools, use us! You've blessed so many, please give us the honor of blessing you.

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