A Working Mommy

This was my first week back at work since having Cohen.  I’ve joined the millions of moms that have two jobs – and so far, we are all doing ok.

Was I dreading it? Maybe.  Did I cry every hour on Sunday and Monday? Possibly.  But all in all, it’s going better than my mind had made it out to be.

I miss Cohen terribly during the day, especially when I am pumping.  The lunchtime break is the hardest, and I am hopeful that when he is more on a schedule I can go over and nurse him during that time. (our sitter’s house is 5 minutes from the school) Being back in the band hall makes me happy.  I missed those kids and I missed getting to make sounds and music with them.  I’m really glad that I have fun at my job because it distracts me from being away from my best little guy. 

So how am I really doing?  Honestly, this first week has been quite an adjustment.  

I’m worried about my supply.  Since I don’t really know how much he eats, its scary to see each pumping session decrease in ounces throughout the day.  By the evening, he’s nursing on both sides = something he hasn’t done since he was two week’s old.  I’m really hoping that this is just an adjustment period.  Its weird to worry about an under supply when I’ve been over-supplying so long.

I worry that I’m not interacting with my baby enough.  The withdrawl of not being with him during his alert hours got to me during the lunch time hour this week.  He’s sleeping when I drop him off and sleeping when I pick him up.  This leaves a total of 2 hours of awake time with me a day. Sadness.  Serious sadness.

I am unmotivated to exercise.  Yes, we’ve signed up to run two pretty significant races.  Yes, I truly enjoy the run.  This week, however, I just want to cuddle up to my baby on the couch when I get home. Some one please tell me this gets easier…

I’m tired.  Really tired.  It’s a combination of first week anxiety, not sleeping well at night, and not exercising.  Luckily I’ve enjoyed my non-dairy coffee by the tank load this week.  I’ve also heard that this doesn’t get better as Cohen gets older.  Fabulous.

And finally, I worry that I’m not my best for my band kids.  I really love my job – a friend of mine posted on facebook this week that he lives for those lightbulb moments – its just such a joy to get to teach every day.  Cohen isn’t far from my mind most hours and I want to be sure I give my ‘other’ kids the experience their parents want for them as well.  Such a juggling act!

My journey as a working mom continues next week…stay tuned ;-)